


Struggling to Care

by 3_modes_Ace_Kat



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Biting, Blood and Injury, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, Rough Care, Rough Intimacy, Struggling, Survivor Guilt, Trust, but in a violent way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29423466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3_modes_Ace_Kat/pseuds/3_modes_Ace_Kat
Summary: Grizzop would have such difficulty slowing down enough to just rest and let himself be taken care of. He has negative knowledge in asking for help and will fight you every step of the way, usually with teeth. Luckily; Zolf has plenty of hit points and is pretty plushy.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Struggling to Care

"Alright. So. Don't be afraid to grab me and throw me around. And if I growl, that's okay too." Grizzop said, fidgeting with his hands and bouncing on his toes. He'd already given up his quiver and his armor, which left him feeling bare. 

"I won't. You're not fragile." Zolf said, looking very serious. 

"Yeah. Yeah. Alright, let's do this." It took every ounce of control not to wriggle out of Zolf's hold. However, once the dwarf's hands were on him, he was surprisingly hard to move. 

"You're too light. We need to feed you up." Zolf muttered, wrapping Grizzop up into his arms, tucking the goblin into his beard. In response, Grizzop bit hard, letting his teeth sink into the shoulder under his head and draw blood. Zolf didn't even twitch, continuing his walk to the couch. Sinking his claws into more flesh, Grizzop gave into the tears that had been pushing at him for the two weeks, all the frustrations and helplessness and confinement he'd had to deal with, the uncertainty with Vesseek and all the other hostages. Zolf had promised he wouldn't judge and he wouldn't let go. 

It seemed the old sailor was living up to his promise, settling down onto the couch and scruffing Grizzop. It settled something in the goblin, even as it startled more tears out of him. In response, he grabbed the hand holding him, using more claw than necessary and bit the arm it was attached to. In response, Zolf began to hum softly. He let Grizzop gnaw for a minute or two, satisfy the need to feel blood in his mouth, before snuggling the smaller man to his chest, without pulling his arm away. 

Being surrounded like that actually helped calm Grizzop down a little. The cleric was reliable and steadfast. And could take a beating. Just for fun, Grizzop flexed his toes and let the claws there sink into the meat of Zolf's thigh. A twitch but nothing more. Good. A deep roar was building in Grizzop's chest, vibrating through his throat. Zolf smiled a little and held harder, tangling one of his hands in Grizzop's ears. He wasn't pulling, just holding. The kind of hold a goblin mother would use when trying to make her unruly spawn hold still and calm down, firm but painless. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Grizzop wondered where Zolf had learned that. 

The rest of him was settling down, releasing the arm in his mouth and letting it settle on his belly. 

“It’s not your fault.” Zolf whispered into the ear he was holding. “You did everything you could. No one blames you.”

”You don’t know that.” Grizzop snarled, wriggling hard now. Care was hard enough to accept at the best of times without this added benediction. Zolf’s arms were implacable though.

”Yes, I can. We’re happy you’re here. We love you too much to let you go that easily. And because we don't think you did anything wrong, it is very easy to forgive you."

"You shouldn't." Grizzop slumped forward in Zolf's surprisingly soft chest, trying not to nuzzle it. One of the dwarf's hands cupped the back of his ear and stroked it along the fur line. A different sort of growl began to build in Grizzop's chest.

"Why not? Tell me what you did and let me be the judge of what forgiveness I will offer." It would be so much easier to keep fighting if Zolf wasn't being reasonable. Just because he could, Grizzop opened his mouth, and sank all his sharp teeth into the meat of Zolf's chest, gnawing to feel the give in his mouth. 

Zolf hummed, knowing the sound would echo into the goblin latched on him, and rubbed his back, not pushing him to answer. 

There were tears soaked into Zolf's shirt, mixing with the blood. Grizzop was good at many things, and knowing when to stop fighting and try another tack was one of them. 

Finally, he looked up and met Zolf's eyes squarely. Because if he couldn't man up and admit what he did, he didn't deserve to receive the comfort. "I opened my eyes when we were 'porting out. I had to know. Saw a massive hand. I think it might have been Hades. Eldarion told me not to look. I slipped. I almost lost Sasha for a bit. Eldarion did something though, made sure we all stayed together." He looked away from Zolf's too understanding eyes. "I needed to know. I think she died to make sure we got back. So now I owe her and I can't repay it. You can't repay the dead." 

"No. you can't. You can either run away from what you did." Zolf replied, voice firm. "Or you can find something that you think the person would appreciate, would ask for, and do that."

"Eldarion didn't care. She wore heels to Rome!" here, Grizzop pushed away, and with a tiny smile, Zolf tripped him into sitting, letting his feet scrabble against his belly. 

"From what you've told me, she cared about Sasha."

"I'd protect her anyways." Grizzop burst out, hands waving to emphasize his point. "And besides, Sasha would hate it if I was watching her back as a favor to Eldarion, and not because I wanted to." He crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders, tucking his feet up so that he was a more easy to manage bundle.

Zolf nodded seriously. It was something that Grizzop actually really enjoyed about the dwarf, how he took everything so seriously. A lot of people have probably told Zolf to lighten up, but it felt nice to have his words be given weight. To be heard. Having finally put the poison of his soul out into the world, Grizzop slumped, settling his head on an offered shoulder. Shame welled up in him as he came face to chest with the damage he'd done.

Zolf was trying to help, to give him what he need and look how he'd repaid it. Tears sprang up in his eyes, and he placed a hand over the worst of the bites. Healing magic poured out of him and into the flesh and Zolf placed a gentle hand over his.

"You're right. Sasha would hate even the idea that you aren't by her side because you want to be. So we'll find something else that you can do that will help. Curie will probably know what to do. However." Grizzop didn't even bother to look up, nuzzling his face into Zolf's beard and letting it soak up his tears. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Grizzop could tell that he was shaking with the force of his sobs. It didn't manage to drown out Zolf's words. "We don't blame you. Eldarion made her choice. And you are here. We still love you. We still care about you. And we are glad you are still with us. Sometimes, that's the only thing you can focus on."

Zolf's arm came up and engulfed Grizzop, effectively hiding most of him from the world, while his other alternated stroking his ears. Grizzop could feel gentle kisses being placed on top of his head, and a feeling of hope started to settle into his bones. 

Feeling Zolf channel his faith is soothing in a way that Grizzop did not expect, thinking it would be alien after his Goddess’ touch. Instead, it seems to sweeten what is already there, like finding the one track Grizzop needs to follow his hunt to its completion. 

That bone deep certainty relaxed something inside Grizzop, the knot of rage left over from missing so much time, the helplessness, the fear. He was protected here. Grizzop had seen what Zolf could do in the name of protecting his own. 

“Will you keep watch?” Grizzop asked, voice stuffy with leftover tears. He didn’t pull his face out of his hides hole. Hed deal with the world later.

”Course. I can keep watch. Here, to clean yourself up. You’re safe for now.”

The goblin accepted the offered cloth, scrubbing his face furiously. Now that his emotions weren’t driving him, he could feel the exhaustion tugging at his soul. Zolf tucked a blanket over him giving him the perfect place to ambush from. And if it was the perfect place to burrow down and feel cared for, that was nobody’s business but his own.

”Wake me for my watch.” Grizzop whispered sleepily, snuggling into Zolf’s beard and letting his Lady’s domain take him. The last thing he felt was a barely there kiss to the top of his head.


End file.
